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The Avenue, Where Models Lives

FRESH OUT THE GATE: Am I running the same race as everyone else?

First I would like to thank everyone that read my first blog. Thanks to those of you that commented and I appreciated the congrats. Im humbled, by the blessing it is to make it this far in my education. I guess all of this will lead me into my second blog. I've been hearing something like 75% of Professional African American women are SINGLE! Now its great that Im getting these degrees and moving through my education fairly quickly, but the idea of reaching my ultimate career goal to be alone is NOT appealing to me at all! I study literature and Im fascinated with stories, especially the tales reflecting my heritage and culture, but books dont keep a woman warm at night, nor will they ever give me pretty little chocolate babies. Im now stuck asking myself am I neglecting my desire to love and nuture a family of my own one day by pursuing my career and educational goals? My best friend got married this weekend. Her and her now husband have a 2 year daughter and a young son (from another relationship of his). She has mixed feelings about the education she gave up to be with him, eventually have his child and help raise his son and I have mixed feelings about it as well. She's married...every girls dream (at least in my circle), she has a family of her own now!We all want that, but at what price? I have more goals that I want to accomplish. I wont to be Dr. "Brick-House" one day so changing gears to focus on relationships would steer me in a totally different direction. I know I definitely dont want to get trapped in that 75%, but I also dont want to look back one day and say I know I could have gone so much further or feel like I've settled. As you all can probably tell Im a little confused LOL, but I can't help but ask myself, am I running the wrong race? Am I even running in the right direction? Am I putting to much energy into something that can be a futile (at times) as higher education? Hell some days I even ask am I running on this track alone?

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Comment by Great Parent Connection on October 20, 2009 at 3:20pm: Here's my short summary for you. Continue to pursue your education as you have been doing. When the right person for you comes along, you will know it. In the mean time, pray to God for that right person for you and ask him to let you recognize him when you do see him(there's a lot of fake people out there).
You only compromise, and I mean compromise, your education and career when a man has taken your hand in marriage and the need arises out of creating a better family situation for you guys. Don't be concerned with what your friends are doing. What works for them may not work for you. You time is not going to run out. You just have to be persistent in what you want and do not settle until you get it. The last thing that you want is that you settle and got married to someone that you really don't like or marry into a situation that you can't handle in the long run.

Good luck and stay firm...Also remember every single women feel the way you do at some point of their lives. You are not alone. This too will pass.

Comment by andrew row on October 19, 2009 at 11:00pm: congratulation "fresh out the gate" I welcome your thoughts and i am here to offer my wisdom. i want to say don't worry about anything but in everything offer your thoughts to God and he will direct your path. proverbs 3:5-7 "trust in the lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding; seek his will in all you do and he will direct your paths.7 don't be impress with your own wisdom..." you can look it up for yourself.
i do not let the way people lives direct my path but i let god path directs my life.
i appreciate you and look forward to learn from you.
one love

Comment by Merge By on October 19, 2009 at 8:55pm: My opinion, You are doing the right thing. Live for the moment, focus on now. Have your cake and eat it too.