“Stuck”

I don’t really believe in seeing a psychologist, therefore I have to diagnose myself. As a child, I don’t think I ever learned how to communicate. I was a shy, scared
little kid. Now, being 28 I see the results of that. Don’t get me wrong, when
you know better you do better. Slowly I am breaking out of this cage. I have
taken some steps in this thousand-mile journey. Although I’m not there yet, I
will get there. My communication skills sucks, it’s improving but it sucks. I
understand why I can’t communicate my feelings with my wife. I understand why I
can’t tell my sisters, and mother I love them. I can’t even tell my son I love
you. I don’t want my son to grow
up this way. I remember going to public school, my teachers use to love me and pass me because I was quiet (didn't speak). I soaked in everything but never communicated it. The good thing is I’m aware of it and I will fix it. I have another concern; lately I’ve
been fighting with time. I need more.
Between work and school, there is not much time left for anything or
anyone else. The good news is, school is almost over, less than two weeks. I’m excited, there’s so much I would
like to do, and need to do. I
would have the ability to work more overtime, but I don’t believe in working
hard, just smart. I’ve planted so many seeds; it’s time to reap. I’m so excited, the more excited I get
the more I think, what have I been missing? Stuck….. And Good is not good
enough.

I feel like I’m not living life, I guess that’s called sacrifice.